Personal

I suppose it could have been worse; I could have gotten in a car accident, been injured, or any number of things.  So, it’s important to keep that in perspective.

Still, it was a really bad day.  First, I overslept this morning because I turned the alarm off after my wife left for work (she had an early shift today), so that put the whole morning into a tailspin as I tried to recover.  Once at work, I had so much catching up to do after spending last week in Los Angeles at VMworld 2006.  Then, I found out that two of my virtual servers in the VMware farm were corrupted because we had a power surge while I was out last week; that meant I had to rebuild two servers (a remote desktop-type server and a mail server).  Fun.

I run home from work only to have to turn right around and go to a PTSA executive board meeting.  However, the night doesn’t end there; it would appear that during the meeting, a pipe burst under the house and nobody noticed until a couple hours later when I got home.  By that point, almost the entire crawl space was flooded under a couple inches of water.  Oh, joy.  Hence the title of this post—soaked.

As a result I get to spend the rest of the evening with a Shop Vac sucking water up and pumping it outside.  Tomorrow I get the unique pleasure of attempting to fix the problem that caused all this grief.

Needless to say I’m tired, I’m hungry, and I’m frustrated.  Time to go to bed and take care of the tired part, at least.

Tuesday night we drove from downtown LA to Covina, a suburb east of LA where I lived as a kid.  After some initial difficulties (it turns out my parents’ directions weren’t as good as we thought they were), I managed to locate the house and the neighborhood in which I had lived for most of my childhood.  It was amazing to see how much the neighborhood had changed over the last (almost) 30 years, and yet how much it was still the same.  I had expected that the neighborhood would have changed so drastically that I wouldn’t recognize areas, but that was not the case.  Unfortunately, due to traffic on the freeway headed east out of LA, it was dark by the time we arrived in Covina, and so I wasn’t able to get any good pictures of the old house or the old neighborhood.

We did, though, get a chance to eat dinner at the North Woods Inn of Covina, a place where I had eaten numerous times as a kid.  It also turns out that the waiter that served us at dinner had worked there many years and remembered some of the same things that I remembered, like the stuffed black bear that used to be positioned behind the entrance to the restaurant.  (I remember being startled by that bear when we visited the restaurant.)  It was pretty cool.

The next day my wife drove out to find her old home in Corona, which is farther to the east and the south of Los Angeles than Covina.  Again, amazingly enough, she was able to locate her old home and found that the house and the neighborhood looked much the same as it had when she left.  I wasn’t able to go with her (I was at VMworld), which really stunk, but I’m glad she was able to go.  Two down, one to go.

As it would work out, we were unable to find the third home we were looking for, and it was the one that my wife had really wanted to find.  She’d lived for a time in Colton, but when we arrived in Colton on Thursday we couldn’t locate the area where her house had been.  We’re not sure if the roads had been renamed or renumbered, but the area where her old house should have been was now a Catholic church and cemetery.  We did manage to find a couple of landmarks that she recognized, but no luck finding the home itself.  After a while driving around Colton, we returned to Los Angeles and went back to the hotel.

All in all, we’re glad we took the time to go back home again.  It’s not every day that you get the chance to go back to someplace you lived 20 or 25 years later and see how things have changed (or haven’t changed).

Longtime readers of this site (if any such people actually exist!) will recall that quite some time ago I was feeling called by the Lord to serve in youth ministry (described here).  Even before these events in January, I’d felt led into some form of ministry with young people.  Then, about a month or so ago, some stuff happened that caused me to leave my current church and start seeking a new church.  Since that time, my wife and I have been attending a couple of different churches and seeking the Lord’s direction in prayer.

This past Wednesday night, as we were finishing up church, my wife went to talk with a lady that we knew who had also been attending the old church (we’ll just call her “Linda,” which is not her real name).  Linda had previously attended the same church with us, but had left before the series of events occurred that led us to leave.

That night, Linda had shaken my hand quickly as she hurriedly exited the building, and my wife just barely managed to catch her in the parking lot.  It turns out that she had been wrestling with a message that the Lord had laid upon her heart to give us.  She had been “arguing” with the Lord, not wanting to speak the message He’d given her, until finally she couldn’t stand it any longer.

<aside>Belive me, I know how she feels.  I’ve had the Lord lay things on my heart before and I’ve just plain argued with the Lord about it until I finally surrendered to His will.  You’d think that after a while I’d learn that the Lord knows best.</aside>

“I know that you guys have been struggling with the decision of where to go to church,” Linda told my wife, “and I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want to affect your decision.”

“No, it’s OK,” my wife said.  “We’ve been seeking direction from the Lord.”  Keep in mind we hadn’t said anything to Linda about what had happened, or when, or how we were feeling.

“Well,” Linda said, “I have been asking the Lord why he called me away from The Previous Church, and away from all my friends and family members to come here, and I just didn’t understand why and what was going on.  Finally, this past week, the Lord revealed to me that he hadn’t called me away alone—he called you away with me.”

Linda continued.  “And there’s something else, too.  Don’t be scared or anything, and rest assured that the Lord will provide everything you need, but I feel like the Lord is also calling you to be youth ministers here at this church.”

Wow.  How had she known?  Had someone said something to her?

“Don’t be scared, and don’t worry,” Linda assured my wife.  “I know it’s strange to hear this, but I really do feel that the Lord has a work for you here with the youth.”

My wife smiled and said, “It’s OK, Linda—the Lord called us into youth ministry about a year ago.  This is just a confirmation of what He wants for us.”

The conversation continued on for a few minutes, then Linda bid my wife farewell and left.  Later that night my wife shared the conversation with me, and we talked and prayed about it.  Was this the Lord speaking to us through Linda?  Was this the answer to the prayers we’d lifted for His guidance and His direction?

I can’t see how it could be anything else.  We hadn’t said anything to Linda or her family about our calling.  How could she have known if it wasn’t the Lord?  It all seems a bit too coincidental for me.  For now, we are believing that it was the Lord, and preparing to get started with what He’s called us to do.  Keep us in your prayers.

I won’t go into all the gory details, because I don’t want to speak ill of any person.  Suffice it to say that events transpired in my church that led to the departure of a respected member, someone who had shown Christ in his/her actions every step of the way.  If you’re a Christian, you know the kind of person I’m talking about—he/she is the one that you really respect, that you can just tell His Presence is with him/her.  He/she is the one that you can always trust to be honest with you, even when the truth is not what you want to hear.  He or she is that person that always speaks respectfully of others, even when in strong disagreement with those others.  This was the kind of person that left our church, and in my humble opinion our church is lessened by his/her departure.

This person shared with me his/her account of the events leading up to the departure, well before that departure was ever a possibility.  They knew that something was amiss, and months before these events ever came to light, I knew about them.  I have no reason not to believe that the information shared with me was anything other than the truth; this person’s character speaks for him/her.  Again, this was the kind of person whose integrity and character was borne out in every aspect of their life and their personality.  So, here I have one story, from a godly person I trust and can clearly see God’s work in his/her life.

However, others in the church have a very different view of what happened, and their story is very, very different.  Not just different as in a few changed details, but different as in drastically and dramatically different.  (Sorry, a few too many instances of the word “different” there.)  These people also claim to be Christians, and they’re typically there every Sunday, singing and worshipping in church.  But you don’t get the same feeling from them.  You don’t get the same sense of God’s Presence in their lives, and you don’t see their impeccable character in the words and in their deeds.  Yes, they work hard in the church, and yes, they give off the appearance of being a Christian.  But deeper down, does Christ really live?  When rumors are spread behind your back, is Christ in that?  When hurtful words are spoken and no remorse is shown, is Christ in that?  When hatred shows in your eyes, is Christ in that?  Yes, I know that we all slip up and let Satan get the best of us.  I know that.  Even then, God’s convicting Holy Spirit is there, to speak to us, to tell us that we shouldn’t have said the hurtful things we said.

Sorry, I digress.  Anyway, there was a meeting tonight at the church, to try to reconcile these two very different stories of how this event (the departure of this respected member) came to pass.  People were hurt, people were offended, people were insulted by the way this event transpired, and the idea behind this meeting was to clear up those misconceptions.  Unfortunately, the meeting devolved into a smear session, many people seeking to somehow tear down and hurt others instead of seeking to find the truth.  My wife was insulted and hurt, deeply, by the comments of others—where is Christ in that?  Where is the love of Christ in that?  And again, there were these two different stories, two different accounts, two different histories presented by two different people, both claiming to be telling the truth and both claiming to be Christians.  It was impossible for them both to be telling the truth; one of them had to be a liar.  But which one? Who should be believed?

In the end, the choice was far easier than I thought it would be.  It’s easy to talk the talk, but it’s not so easy to walk the walk.  There’s a saying my kids are so tired of hearing me say—“Actions speak louder than words.”  When I tossed aside the words, when I tossed aside the appearances, and when I really looked down inside, in whom did I see Christ?  In whom did I see the love of Christ?  In whom did I see respect and courtesy for others, even in the midst of disagreement?  In whom did I see restraint of the tongue?  Most of all, in whom did I see compassion?  That is the person to be believed, for their actions speak far, far louder than their words.

This posting may not make any sense to you; that’s OK, because I mainly wrote it for myself.  Consider it my donation to the many pages on the Internet that appear to be written in selfish vanity.  Mainly I needed to get it out, to work through the events, to work through the spiteful words and the hateful looks, to work through the self-righteous indignation, and find Christ in one of these two people.

If you are not a Christian, you’re probably reading this thinking, “Ha!  I knew all those Christians were phony hypocrites.”  No, not all of us.  Many, but not all.  Please, don’t let the actions of a few turn you away.  There are some of us who put aside the fancy words, who put aside the phony appearance, and instead seek to be Christian—“Christ-like”—in our actions, in our character, in our speech.  Then, when you look deeper, you’ll know who to believe, and you’ll find Christ, too.

It’s a really good CD, actually, and I’m particularly enjoying a couple of the tracks.  He’s got a great voice, and the music and lyrics are good.  So far, the title track (“Perfect Day”) is a favorite of mine, and I’m also enjoying “Alive” and “You Say Come.”  “King of Glory” is another great song, and I believe that it’s a hit single on the charts right now.

When you’re feeling down, or feeling like you aren’t quite “good enough”, then the track “Less” will certainly speak to your heart, and remind you of the unfailing love of God.

Overall, I’d recommend the album; it’s not too hard, but certainly not light listening either.  Sorry, I’m not a professional music reviewer, so I can’t really tell you any more than that.  Give it a try and see.

(Josh’s web site isn’t too bad, either, although I’m not a big fan of all-Flash sites.) 

Technically, Independence Day in the US isn’t until tomorrow (July 4).  I don’t plan on being around much tomorrow, though, so I’m posting this today.

As you celebrate July 4th this year (or, for our international readers, whenever you celebrate your country’s independence day), be sure to remember the other kind of independence that was made possible only through the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ.  While the United States achieved independence in the physical world 230 years ago, many people are still bound in a life of dependence upon material things—money, lust, cars, houses, prestige—the list is endless.  Is this 4th of July time to achieve a new independence?

If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed. (John 8:36 KJV)

Well, everything will change on March 13.  OK, maybe not everything, but lots of things.  On March 13, my company—Mercurion Systems—will end its five-year run.  It’s been a great five years, but the time has come to pursue new horizons.  Unfortunately, those new horizons can’t be attained working for myself.

As I mentioned last week when I discussed an important career decision (now you know what that decision was), I find my greatest job satisfaction comes from building things.  Specifically, I enjoy designing and implementing complex network systems.  Technologies and products like multilayer switches, storage area networks (SANs), virtualization, and clusters are the things with which I really enjoy to work.  I like designing Active Directory and Exchange installations, and planning large-scale migrations, and creating server farms.  Those are the horizons I want to pursue, and those are the horizons that I can’t attain by continuing with Mercurion Systems.

Mercurion’s customer base has always been made up of smaller companies, and these companies just can’t sustain the kinds of technologies and products that I really enjoy.  These smaller companies don’t need and can’t justify the kinds of certifications that I want to pursue, such as the advanced Cisco and Citrix certifications.  In order to get there, I have to join forces with a bigger organization.  In my case, that bigger organization is ePlus Technology.

I’ve worked with ePlus before as a subcontractor, and I know many of the people over there.  It’s a great group of people, all of whom I respect greatly.  I am very confident that the excellent working relationship I’ve had in the past with them will continue moving forward, and I’m excited to get the opportunity to dive right into some of the advanced technologies for which I’ve been targeted.  Already they’ve told me they want me to focus on some of the VMware products, which is perfectly fine with me!

Of course, this transition is not without its drawbacks.  It will be more than a bit depressing to have to give up the “dream” of owning your own company, and the possibility of that company growing to become something more than it is today.  But when you look at it again, you see that it’s not just about money, or finances—it’s also got to be about the “non-quantitative” things, like what brings you job satisfaction and, perhaps most importantly, where the Lord is leading you.  Ultimately, it’s those things that tell me that this is the right decision.

So what does this mean for you, the readers?  Nothing.  I’ll still be posting out here, hopefully with more material and material of a more technical nature.  I’ll still look forward to hearing your comments, your suggestions, and your feedback.

To those of you who were or are customers of mine, thanks for the opportunities you’ve provided over the last five years.  It’s been a blessing from the Lord to have met each and every one of you, and I consider you friends as well as customers.  Feel free to continue to stay in touch with me using this e-mail address.

As some of you may already know, I’ve been wrestling with an important career decision for quite a while now.  In thinking about this decision, I’ve had to take an honest look at what I really want to do.  What brings me the most satisfaction in my career?  In other words, what do I want to do when I grow up?

In looking back at the work that I’ve done for the last few years, I can tell you the projects, the customers, the tasks that have been most satisfying for me.  The worldwide Active Directory migration that I helped design and install—that was a good one.  I enjoyed the huge Cisco network installation I did a few years ago, at the height of the dot-com boom, for a startup.  I led a POP3/SMTP-to-Exchange migration a couple of years ago that was fun as well.  What do each of these things have in common?  They’re projects.

“Well, duh, Scott!  Of course they’re projects!” you say.

Yes, but a project has a defined start and a defined end.  (At least, a good project does.)  A project has a defined set of goals that must be attained in order to be considered complete.  Projects don’t go on endlessly, and projects typically don’t end up being the same thing over and over again.  (Yes, I know we all have stories about projects that do go on endlessly, but I think we all can say that those are the exception and not the norm.)

In addition, each of these projects are notable for another reason:  they forced me to expand my knowledge, they challenged my current skill set and drove me into new territory.  I love to learn—I’m constantly seeking out new technologies, new products, new integration techniques to pick up some new piece of knowledge that I didn’t have before.  Each of the projects that sticks out in my memory was a challenging project, one that led me to a new level of knowledge or to a new skill altogether.

I have known for quite some time that my personality is more of a “builder” personality.  I like to build things.  I like to create networks, and build servers, and craft e-mail systems, and assemble complex clusters.  That’s just how I am.  I’ve had customers offer to hire me (which is flattering, of course), but I know that I wouldn’t be satisfied because eventually the building would stop.  And when the building stopped, I’d be bored.  I’m a builder.

So as I’ve taken a deep hard look at where my career is right now, and what I’m doing right now, I find that I’m not building very much.  Instead, I’m maintaining.  I’m maintaining backup systems, or e-mail servers, or desktop workstations, or laptops, or whatever.  But I’m not building, I’m not involved in any projects, and I’m not really being challenged.

If my greatest satisfaction comes from building, from being involved in projects that challenge my skills and drive me to learn new things and expand what I already know, then isn’t that where I should be?  If I can meet my family’s needs (financially and otherwise) doing that, shouldn’t I be doing that?  Or is there something more that I am missing?

I’d like to take a moment to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!  I hope that the Lord blesses each of you very richly in the coming year.  Let us be sure not to forget the true reason for this season—the birth of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.

In my earlier posting about Lifesong, the second CD by the Christian group Casting Crowns, I spoke primarily about their musical style and their sound. At the time, I was so wrapped up in how the music sounded in comparison with their debut album that I was disappointed in this latest effort.

I continued listening to the CD, concentrating mostly on the tracks that I really enjoyed—”Lifesong”, “Praise You in This Storm”, “Set Me Free”, and “Father, Spirit, Jesus”. As I listened—truly listened—to the words of these songs, and then took the time to listen to the other songs on the album as well, I realized that I was guilty of the very things that Casting Crowns sings about in these songs. And my first review was the perfect indicator of this.

So many people practice Christianity on the surface. Sure, they go to church. They may even teach Sunday School, or lead a Bible study group. But do they really serve the Lord? Is their service—my service—just “empty hands held high”? How often do we high our true feelings from others, even our fellow Christians, becoming “happy plastic people under shiny plastic steeples”? Can we see past that young unwed mother’s sin, see “past her scarlet letter” and actually get to know her?

This entry isn’t just about a CD, though; that’s why I titled this post “Another Take on Life(song)”. It’s not just about Lifesong, it’s about life. It’s time for us—for me—to move past superficial Christianity and into true service for the Lord.

That doesn’t necessarily mean full-time ministry, and it doesn’t mean just going to church. It means serving the Lord with all that we are and in all that we do (and my use of the term “we” here includes myself). It means living a life that “brings a smile” to the Lord, where we take to heart Jesus’ teachings and actually apply them in all areas of life, not just the areas that are convenient or comfortable.

It means letting our life(song) sing to the Lord.