A Brief Update on the Personal Side of Things

If you don’t want to read personal and/or Christian-oriented posts, just skip this one. Otherwise, read on.

Since March of last year (almost 15 months ago), I’ve been battling a custody lawsuit over my three sons from my first marriage. There were allegations of various forms of abuse. I was deeply hurt by the accusations; my kids mean the world to me. I may not be the best dad in the world, and I may make mistakes from time to time (who doesn’t?), but I would never hurt my kids. There were other things that made this situation worse than you can probably imagine, but I’ll spare you the details. Suffice it to say that it has been difficult.

This matter first came to trial back in April of 2007 (hence the reasons behind these two posts), but for a variety of reasons it kept getting postponed (“continued” is the legal term). We didn’t understand why God didn’t work in the situation to bring the case to trial. We didn’t have a lawyer and were going up against my ex-wife’s attorney, who had a reputation for being ruthlessly effective. It was so stressful and so emotionally taxing that we just wanted it done.

We prayed about the matter, and we asked others to pray about the matter. Several times we thought that perhaps the issue was going to go away, only for it to jump right back up again.

Finally, just a couple of weeks ago, we received a letter in the mail from the ex-wife’s attorney. Our hearts sank—now what? What else could happen? Now what kind of papers were being filed with more accusations? Instead, it was a miracle that only God could have provided: my ex-wife’s attorney was withdrawing from the case!

We were stunned. We’d never seen this coming. Sure enough, when the case came to trial this past Monday, there was no attorney for the opposing side. For the next two days, we endured a parade of witnesses singing a litany of accusations against me and my wife. Along the way God gave us the openings we needed—a witness who testified that he/she was missing critical facts about some of the events that had been witnessed, and those facts changed his/her view of the situation; a witness who testified he/she had open animosity toward me and my wife and that animosity affected his/her interactions with us and the kids; a social worker who’d evaluated our house who testified that there was no signs of abuse of any kind; and the admission that things were occurring within the opposing household that themselves could be viewed as abusive. God was there every step of the way, giving me the questions to ask, the things to say, the information to present to the judge, and the courage to face my accusers and their allegations head-on.

On Wednesday, the hearing wrapped up and the judge issued the ruling. The kids would be staying with us! We were given a resounding victory, vindicated from the charges and commended by the judge for our efforts in raising the kids. It was everything we had hoped for and asked for. Truly God is good!

Looking back on it now, it’s evident why the Lord ensured the case kept getting postponed. God’s time is not our time, and in His time he was able to remove resources from the opposing side and strengthen our case by adding witnesses and testimony that we wouldn’t have had months earlier.

This trial—and I use that term both literally and figuratively—has taught my wife and I a great deal. We have seen God work in mighty and powerful ways, but not in the ways in which you might expect, and certainly not within the timeframes that we might expect. But His time is perfect, and we simply needed to trust Him. Although we may not have understood His plan, it was for our benefit. I am reminded of one of my favorite verses, Jeremiah 29:11:

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV)

My heartfelt thanks go out to everyone who lifted up our family in prayer.

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  1. Ray’s avatar

    Scott, That is great news about your children. Truely God had a plan for this. I am starting to go to Church and read the Bible with my wife, and stories like this show just how wonderful He is. BTW, Great Virtualization Blog. I first read about ESX 3.5Update 2 here, and I am in the middle up an upgrade to it now. We can finally take advantage of Ubuntu 8.04 in VMware.
    Thanks for everything, I will definatly keep reading this, and again, Congrats on getting your children back!

  2. Jason Boche’s avatar

    Scott, I was happy to read this blog entry. I am happy for you and your family. I hope it is smooth sailing from here.

  3. Ron’s avatar


    I am so happy for you, your wife and the children. Sometimes it’s hard to fathom why God allows things to happen, and in the darkest moment he lifts you up, and reveals his Goodness

    God Bless


  4. benjamin’s avatar


    I am also happy to read this.
    Thank you for sharing.


  5. JR’s avatar


    I read your blog because of the Virtualization subject matter, but as a fellow Christian I am pleased that you have experienced God working in your life. Thanks for sharing it with a [potentially hostile] public audience.

    God Bless

  6. Jerry C.’s avatar


    I truly enjoy reading your blog and as others have said, I am glad this turned out well for your family. As a Christian and technologist, it is uplifting to see others in our industry who live their lives with faith. Thanks for sharing and may God continue to bless you and yours.


  7. Crystal’s avatar


    You don’t have to post this or anything but I wanted to say that I am touched by the readers support. Many not only prayed for us in the tough times, but are also rejoicing with us in the happy time. God truly worked on our behalf and on behalf of our children. Thank you for being a wonderful example not only to our children, but also to me and to the professional world. Your faith carries me through and helps me stay focused on Christ. I just wanted to thank you for staying strong and leaning on God and trusting Him through these past 10 years. I pray many find strength through your testimony, just as I have.

    Your loving wife,


  8. William Bishop’s avatar

    Congrats on the win.

  9. Scott Weber’s avatar

    Praise God! You are so right when you say that God’s time is not ours and Jeremiah 29:11 is a great inspiration! Keep focused on the important things and God will take care of you!

    Your fellow IT guy in Christ :)

    Scott Weber

  10. Richard’s avatar

    Amazing how things work out when you follow the path of faith. Walk through the vally of death and fear no evil.

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